I observe and notice I am not posting unfinished-imperfect-unofficial-inappropriate works.
Also in relation to the Crit session, I wrote that I chose a “safe” piece, because I thought it was nice enough but I wouldn’t be too hurt by the critiques. it didn’t make me feel vulnerable, it also didn’t make me feel passioned.
I kept thinking, and I asked myself a question: what would be an “unsafe” piece for me? What kind of work would make me vulnerable? And I realised that I don’t have a clear answer to that. Maybe I can’t show it because it doesn’t exist yet.
How can it exist, if I don’t allow myself to dig deeper into my vulnerability, into my weakness, into my interiority, into the possibility of failure... A big part of me is convinced that no one would be interested in seeing what goes on inside me, another part feels the urgency to express, to free what goes on inside of me. What to do?
I am aware that I should let go of the preoccupation of exterior judgement, but how can one not care about the thing one cares about the most?
Now I have the opportunity to experiment this freedom. This course provides a safe, encouraging space. Sharing the unfinished-imperfect-unofficial-inappropriate work is precisely the only thing required.
Aim to making myself vulnerable, enter the space of interiority, express what goes on inside me. And if it’s shit, start all over again…or give up. I’ve come this far, would I really consider (or be able) to do that? There’s only one way to find out.
In a statement, Bruce Nauman said “Art is a matter of life and death”, I think he’s right.