I doubt this will be useful or interesting to anyone reading. I'm not proud of it but I guess I just need to take it out somehow, somewhere, for myself. For my own recording. If anyone's reading, don't waste your time. I suggest you browse through other posts. I’m not handling pressure well.
I realise just how much space my anxiety takes up in my mind and how it eats up time.
The stress for the study statement + a project with a difficult client. I’ve been focusing on preoccupation rather than work, helplessly trying to catch up on blog posts and practice. Obsessing about it instead of doing it. I look at my resolutions and panic.
Of course, my body is at war with my mind and decided to protest through a nasty flu.
I took a fall, it was bound to happen. But there’s still time to steer the wheel and get back on track.
Like in theatre, if you forget a line, you should keep moving forward to the next one, relying on your body memory. You will get stuck in that missed line and freeze, otherwise.
So here’s a reflection post taking responsibility for all the time I spend freaking out, and committing to just look forward.
Let’s be clear, it’s not like I’ve been doing nothing. I do not want to miss recording what I am doing. This part of the process has been fundamental so far, and I deeply regret not having been able to keep up with the change of rhythm in my life.
So get a grip on this Study Statement. You have all the elements by now. Organise them and communicate them clearly, without judgement. You are not going to get an applause for this, except, maybe, for your own.